Being in Irvine is lonely... it's just not the same hanging out with family or high school friends... it's actually quite depressing the way I'm feeling... all I've been doing the past hour is school stuff...

To go to State, or not go to State? Or at least go to South Western and then transfer to UCSD or something... at least it's closer to home... a life without rules is complicated... not to mention boring... but to give it all up because I'm home sick? Is it really worth it? As of now... while I sit in this computer lab and think about it? Yes, it would be worth it... at least in SD I'm productive school wise... I really just want to hang out with my friends... if only I could move all of them up here, or move all that I have up here down there... then life would be weird but good... cause as of now, its just weird...

I hope this quarter will be better than the last... or I'm just gonna stop caring... but I'll warn everybody first...

(if you haven't noticed already, this is just my stream of conscienceness as I sit and type away)

What happened to all my expectations and goals when I first arrived on campus last year in September? School doesn't just suck anymore, I think its the whole Irvine atmosphere... even though I hate to admit it, I don't feel like I belong in Irvine... either that, or I just don't have any direction in my life whats so ever and I honestly don't know what I'm doing in school... to get a good education to do what? I'm undeclared for goodness sakes!!! And whatever I THINK I want to do I probably don't even want to do it... its all just a dream for me... I can't even stand my job anymore... and I haven't even started this quarter... I think a fuse broke last quarter and is affecting me... mentally and emotionally...alright... I'll stop babbling...

Class today was pretty good however... but then again it was just the first day of classes... shout outs to ~your name here~ for always being there when I needed them!!!!
I'm out...