not if family continuously pushes you away... jeez... i worked so hard in high school to be able to go away for college... don't you get it... i would have ended my life if i had to stay... life sucks at home... you know it too... you knew what i had to go through, for 18 years i had to put up with that crap... and now that i'm finally free from it they're trying to pull me back... you experienced it for a year and a half and look at where you are... you don't even want to move back home because of all that crap... you felt how it was like to go through what i had to go through... always getting asked to do shit, help with this and that, never being allowed to answer back, never able to defend yourself, getting in trouble for the stupidest things, always assuming that everything i did wasn't important, but picking up a f*cking grain of rice on the floor next to your fathers foot!!! can you tell that i'm bitter?

i also know that there's more out there than just the bubble of san diego, however big the bubble may be... just because i left doesn't mean i don't care for you guys any less, but what the hell is all this doubt about the stuff i do up here... i do it because i want to... every joke cracked and everything said to make me feel like all that i do is worthless here and it really makes me want to come home ::said sarcastically::

and i also know that not everything is "peachy keen," there's a lot shit that happens here too! i've just learned to lift it up to God... because you know why!?!?! what else can i do? apparently however... according to our dumb ass father, i have found a f*cking cult with liwanag and days with the lord... and practice a different faith because i praise God out loud and do action songs and actually SHOW that i have faith... but for clarifications sake, I'M STILL CATHOLIC... but who the hell would give them the idea that i was in some cult to begin with... not i of course...

i know where i stand in my faith... if you want me to ellaborate about it without having to cuss you out over the phone and then hang up on you, then have an open heart and mind about what i have to say... i know that you don't like my friends or that you would even care to get to know them... but if you say that you care for me as much as you do... then why don't you trust the judgement i have when it comes to the people i hang out with!!!

whatever dude... tell pa he's an ass, and if he wants me come home because he doesn't want to drive the rest of the family to church because he has gout then tell him to stop eating the stuff he isn't allowed to... what does he want me to do? not go to school here and serve his ass hand and foot? eh... wrong!

i'm bitter yes... sorry if i said anything that sounds bitter and hurt you, but i am... and it's more bitterness towards pa more than anything else and some of it just happened to coincide with it after reading your xanga site... jeez... i don't care anymore... i'll deal with it when i get home...