i've been reflecting a lot about all the things that i've seen and experienced and felt this past summer and this first quarter of my third year here at Irvine. reminiscing has really gotten me sad though... sad for my own different reasons of course, but for some reason i'm more sad right now than i've ever been. it's that feeling you get that even though you're surrounded by so many people, you still feel so alone. it's a weird feeling and i can't seem to shake it... i'm not even depressed or anything, or maybe i am and i just don't know it?

don't get me wrong though, cause the summer and this quarter had its share of laughter and happiness, more of that than sad times, but sitting here right now... i don't know... my emotions have just gotten the better of me right now... ::sigh:: but what can i really do you know? i was having a conversation with a high school friend yesterday that i haven't seen in such a long time, and she said that usually when you talk to people and tell them whats bothering you, that it gives you the release you need and you feel a lot better afterwards... i wouldn't know though cause i rarely do this, but it would be nice to just sit and talk to someone about stuff and just let go of everything... ::sigh:: but there i go again, trying to build walls, cause i know i'd never really talk to anyone... haha...

reg said that she'd eventually break down that wall i've set up between people (so it is true that i've built walls cause i've been saying it since freshman year in college... sorry angie... i've always had the walls there) and to some extent, she has... ::sigh:: i miss her... she's one of the people that has crossed my path that understands me in ways that not that many people know... geez...

...and it's over... dang it joyce... this all started when i read your blog, haha... jk!

and now i'm going crazy cause i have a final tomorrow and look at what i'm doing... ::goes back to my happy self:: peace out everyone... get some sleep!