I guess you could say that the realities of graduating and moving on with my life have been bothering me lately. As I sit here in the science library I get nostalgic over the days of what was once my CSO duties. Walking back and forth on every floor making sure that no one was eating and telling them to put it away if they were.

As I was sitting here I turned towards the elevators and saw what seemed like the ending of a movie. A friend pushed the button to the elevator, waited for the doors to open, walked in and before the doors closed, turned around in my direction and waved goodbye. A few seconds later she was gone, on her way to continue with the rest of her day.

You're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about. It's just hard for me right now to admit that I change is inevitable and that as the days continue to count down to my last days here at UCI as a student I get more and more afraid of what the real world has to offer. To top things off, I'm feel like I'm back on my emotional roller coaster with my faith. I'm assuming it has something to do with my thoughts on graduating, but still, I thought that I was done riding that roller coaster.

I feel like I have so much running through my head right now that when I try to think of things it just moves too fast for me to comprehend and deal with that I set it aside to deal with for another time and place. It's catching up to me now and I as usual I'm just waiting for the breaking point. Maybe the retreat will be the breaking point? I'm excited yet scared to face all of the things that I've been putting aside for later contemplation, and I'm thinking that the retreat will be it. ::sigh::

Wish me luck, I have a midterm tomorrow along with an assignment due at 9am that I have yet to start. Pray for me please... its a request that I don't normally ask, but, like everyone else, always need. I shall do the same for the rest of you. +BK