ever wonder if the world you're living in is really yours? i don't mean that you don't exist in this "matrix" and actually have your real life on a plant overran by A.I. not like that, i'm talking about your life not being yours in that you aren't the one in control of it. that someone has complete control of your life and you're just merely acting out what they want you to do.

and don't look too deep into this either, i'm not talking about God, it's just something that got me annoyed. i bring it up because i just watched an episode of the x-files and it got me all riled up inside. i haven't seen the x-files in a while, so it was good seeing the characters again, and this particular episode dealt with conspiracies at the highest levels of government; lies, double agents, death, murder, and small pox.

now you're probably wondering what the hell i watch, but surprisingly enough, i'm just one of the millions that were addicted to the show when it was still in season. the show inspires more thinking in me than all my four years in high school, sad, yes, but true. i mean the things you learn in high school you probably already forgot, except for the more interesting things. and that's what the x-files does for me. brings out those "more interesting things" that get me to think about more than the bubble i call my life.

i've always had this idea in my head that one must try to save the world one day at the time, by the things they say, and do or don't do. but then i think, what can one person really be able to do when it comes to matters of the whole world? the truth is, no can save the world, not just one person at least. if you set that as your goal, then you set yourself up for failure, but to save the world for people you love, then the task is much easier to handle, don't you think? so for me, the thought of trying to save the world day by day by myself, has grown to a particular specific point, it's to save it for:

my family. i never tell them that i love them on a daily basis, but when it comes down to it, i'm trying to save the world for them. which i guess you could say then, that my life isn't really mine, but for my family, and to serve Kuya Jess, is what my life really is. and that my friend is alright with me.

hope this made sense, cause even at certain points, it didn't make sense to me.