Through a request about not writing just one line posts, I've decided to write about some things.

First off, life is good overall. I couldn't be happier. I'm able to face another day with the same smile that was on my face from the day before from all the blessings that I was given that day, and continue to smile to see what God has in store for me for the up coming day. I say only "good overall" to life because there are just some parts of my life that could use a little more understanding and a little more acceptance. But I guess these are just trials He's testing me with; to see how far my trust in Him will go. Kuya Jess, you are truely awesome, and even though I'm wishing so hard to find answers to whats been going on with me, I trust in You, Kuya Jess, and lift it all up to You.

LOGgers make me smile. You guys and gals have no idea how much you all make me happy. I serve Him through serving all of you, and it is through all of you that gives me the will to keep going, that keeps me inspired, and gives me another reason to be a better person. Someone told me tonight that "liwanag makes me wana be a better person." That really touched me though; brought tears to my eyes, and I'm really glad that liwanag can be a group that is able to do that for people.

Have you ever had those moments where your heart is telling you one thing, but your mind is telling you something else? I'm at that point right now. My heart is telling me one thing, but my mind knows that I shouldn't even be feeling that way. It's like your parents telling you not to do something, yet you do it anyway. I really need to just let go, cause I'm just setting myself up for disappointment; walking a road that I've walked before, and yet still haven't learned from it. I just can't help it sometimes though. But I guess life would be a lot less interesting if things didn't happen the way they have been happening. ::argh::

I'd like to have my life back to how it was over the summer. That was fun, a time that brought me closer to Kuya Jess than any summer that I've spent at home before. It was fun, but school is now back in session and things are back to how things were before I went home for break. It's such a fast paced life, and sometimes I want to just sit and do nothing, which I have before ;). But lately I've been getting the urge to just play outside. To play baseball, to have a picnic in the park, to lay down on the grass and sleep, or just simply just sit and admire all that I've been blessed with in this life. I keep looking up at the sky every night, to see the stars, and be amazed by their beauty. I wanted to be an astronomer just for that reason. A friend once said, 'I don't need to look up at the stars, I just need to look around me, cause I'm surrounded by them.' Those weren't the exact words, but it goes something like that. So to all my stars out there, whether up in the sky above, or those that I see everyday, or every other day, or however ofetn I see you, I just want to say that you've touched me in my life in one way or another, and I just want to say thank you! ::143::

So whats really been bothering me? It's so hard to explain, and something that I don't even think I could explain unless you yourself have experienced it. It is an experience though, and it's one of those things that makes you feel like you're not growing anymore...::sigh:: I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I guess I'm just tired, considering that it's 3am. So I guess this my cue to go to sleep.