finals week is crazy i tell you. i'm here at the gateway study center across from the main library... i have a shift from 3am-8am, and guess what? i'm not alone, which is surprising cause well, it's not even finals week! it's only week 10 for crying out loud. sometimes i wonder if it's worth all the effort for someone to spend their whole night working on a paper or studying. someone tell me that yea it is... and make it sound believable, cause sometimes i think it'd be a lot better if i got the sleep rather than putting in all that effort.

so it took me about 2 and 1/2 hours to read two sections for stats. dang... and i still kinda don't get it. i didn't really realize that i have so much to study for in that class... well i guess not really study, but more like review, cause i should know the material already. but i've given up on it just for now cause i'm not concentrating very well. i think it's cause i'm kinda of sleepy. i tried taking a nap before work, but i couldn't fall a sleep, and by the time i did fall asleep, i heard my phone alarm going off and my alarm clock. blah! usually for my 10-3 shifts i'm okay, but i couldn't deal with this shift for some reason, although i did get some studying done.

so let's talk about life... i can't really say that life sucks, because it doesn't... but i can say that i made my life suck for me in regards to school. dang... i hate thinking about it, but it's hard not to. coming to irvine was all i ever wanted as a senior in high school.. yea yea, uci was my number one choice... and now i'm scared of losing it... yea my grades are that crappy. so next quarter i need to work my ass off. yes, which means study, do homework and all that other crap related to being a "good student." i need to do it though, or else my consequence would have to be.. dun dun dun: to move back home. not that home is bad or anything, but i'd rather not move back home for the time being. dang i just scared myself... i think one of the things that will motivate me for this finals week is fear... and what i fear more than the boogie man is the wrath of my dad.. yikes...

so i find out today... if you want to know what i find out, just ask. i'm hoping that i don't get it, so it won't be as disappointing if and when i need to reject the offer because of my aformentioned (used in the proper context?) grades... aww.. that makes me sad and yet glad at the same time. i should really do a pros and cons thing, but i'm too lazy right now and my concentration is shot... dang, i think it's cause i'm wired from my coffee, dang it, i need to pee this out or else i won't be able to concetrate in class.

okay, i have an hour left. i think i'll hang outside and get some fresh air.. maybe it'll sober me up. peace everyone!