The servant-leader retreat that happened about two weekends ago was just the kick in the butt I needed to get myself in the right mode for the upcoming school year. I'm not perfectly fixed of what I've been trying to figure out for the past months, but it's a start. Thank you again to all the leaders that had a hand in planning and preparing for that retreat.

I bring this up now, two weeks later, cause for the past two weeks I've been doing great. Not thinking too much of things, letting the little things go, trying to pray more, and basically living a drama free life. Too bad it didn't last, and I guess that weekend retreat just reminded me of something that I said to the other five on our last day there. I told them during our core discussion that I didn't want to convince myself that the retreat was able to cure me of whatever the hell I've been dealing with faith wise, when in fact I'm not... But really, after that retreat everything was fine. But today just got me sad for some reason. I can't really explain what's going on, but it's just a crappy feeling...

God truly works in mysterious ways, and in ways that are His, and no matter how much I want certain things to go certain ways, it's always HIS will be done... It's just a matter of letting go and trusting completely in Him. But damn is that hard to do!